San Francisco tiger murdered after boy tricks her into eating him
A brief rest from the STDave chronicles.
It could only happen in California. A tiger escapes from a cage, kills a boy, injures two others, and zoo-goers rush to defend the tiger.
The facts of the story are simple. On Christmas day at the San Francisco zoo, a tiger escapes from its viewing pit. Tragically it killed a teenager and injured two young. After the rampage, zoo workers killed the animal before it could hurt or kill any other people.
As the zoo is reopening, reports are coming forward about what happened. Clearly, the walls to the pit were not adequately high. The rational solution: make sure zoos have sufficiently high walls. The California solution (also known as the worst imaginable solution): blame the people that the tiger attacked.
How, you may wonder, can one blame the victim for this? A tiger killed a person! What's to debate? Apparently certain zoo-goers who were fortunate enough to survive the Christmas tiger attack claim that the boys who were injured (but not the one who was killed) were taunting the tiger...by roaring.
Taunting a tiger? Are you serious? Here's the thing about tigers. They always want to eat you. Always. They don't stop to remember the times you were kind to them. They don't have fond memories of you. They don't care whether or not you donate to little tiger charities. They want to eat you. You are literally nothing more than a piece of meat to them.
I can continue to beat this horse.
Tiger = meat-eater.
You = meat.
So by the transitive property, Tiger = you-eater.
Another odd thing about this story: How exactly does one taunt a tiger? The witness says the kids were roaring at the tiger.
1) Tigers roar, but they don't eat each other.
2) Tigers most likely don't understand any human language. Speak English, roar, sing Edith Piaf classics, whatever you want, the tiger will not understand you.
3) I find it much more likely that the tiger was upset, not so much that the human was making roaring sounds, but more that the human was not in her stomach. I feel confident that the most annoying thing a tiger can imagine is a piece of meat that it can't reach.
Beside the facts that tigers are carnivores and refuse to orally reason in any known language, why do we have the idea that tigers like being stared at by people in zoos, but they don't like being yelled at. If we're going to put tigers in animal-prison to be stared at by people from all corners of the earth, why do we then assume that it's uncouth to make animal sounds near these animals?
I do not mean to write a scathing post against tigers. In truth, I prefer a world full of tigers to a world full of polar bears (see previous posts). I will not, however, rush to the defense of tigers when they eat my fellow human beings. In the end, tigers are not nice. We can never really be friends with them. They will eat us.
God help the horrible people that are trying to blame a boy for being killed by a tiger.
On a lighter note, I've found that YouTube may save my life in the event of an animal attack.
For example, I saw a zebra survive a crocodile attack. It turns out that crocodiles do not like being bit in the eye. Although I hope never to have to bite a crocodile in the eye, I will if I have to (and I won't feel bad about it, even if others seem to think I was making crocodile noises). However, unless the crocodile is eating or has already eaten your hands or legs, I would suggest hitting or kicking the crocodile in the eye as a more hygienic (and much less yucky) solution, if at all possible.
In other animal news, African buffalo are freaking incredible. I saw with my own eyes (via YouTube) a herd of buffalo team up against an unholy alliance of lions and crocodiles to save one of their young. Lions and Crocodiles!!!! Working together!!! The Apocalypse is coming people! The African buffalo won't always be around to save us.
Take care of each other friends.
It could only happen in California. A tiger escapes from a cage, kills a boy, injures two others, and zoo-goers rush to defend the tiger.
The facts of the story are simple. On Christmas day at the San Francisco zoo, a tiger escapes from its viewing pit. Tragically it killed a teenager and injured two young. After the rampage, zoo workers killed the animal before it could hurt or kill any other people.
As the zoo is reopening, reports are coming forward about what happened. Clearly, the walls to the pit were not adequately high. The rational solution: make sure zoos have sufficiently high walls. The California solution (also known as the worst imaginable solution): blame the people that the tiger attacked.
How, you may wonder, can one blame the victim for this? A tiger killed a person! What's to debate? Apparently certain zoo-goers who were fortunate enough to survive the Christmas tiger attack claim that the boys who were injured (but not the one who was killed) were taunting the tiger...by roaring.
Taunting a tiger? Are you serious? Here's the thing about tigers. They always want to eat you. Always. They don't stop to remember the times you were kind to them. They don't have fond memories of you. They don't care whether or not you donate to little tiger charities. They want to eat you. You are literally nothing more than a piece of meat to them.
I can continue to beat this horse.
Tiger = meat-eater.
You = meat.
So by the transitive property, Tiger = you-eater.
Another odd thing about this story: How exactly does one taunt a tiger? The witness says the kids were roaring at the tiger.
1) Tigers roar, but they don't eat each other.
2) Tigers most likely don't understand any human language. Speak English, roar, sing Edith Piaf classics, whatever you want, the tiger will not understand you.
3) I find it much more likely that the tiger was upset, not so much that the human was making roaring sounds, but more that the human was not in her stomach. I feel confident that the most annoying thing a tiger can imagine is a piece of meat that it can't reach.
Beside the facts that tigers are carnivores and refuse to orally reason in any known language, why do we have the idea that tigers like being stared at by people in zoos, but they don't like being yelled at. If we're going to put tigers in animal-prison to be stared at by people from all corners of the earth, why do we then assume that it's uncouth to make animal sounds near these animals?
I do not mean to write a scathing post against tigers. In truth, I prefer a world full of tigers to a world full of polar bears (see previous posts). I will not, however, rush to the defense of tigers when they eat my fellow human beings. In the end, tigers are not nice. We can never really be friends with them. They will eat us.
God help the horrible people that are trying to blame a boy for being killed by a tiger.
On a lighter note, I've found that YouTube may save my life in the event of an animal attack.
For example, I saw a zebra survive a crocodile attack. It turns out that crocodiles do not like being bit in the eye. Although I hope never to have to bite a crocodile in the eye, I will if I have to (and I won't feel bad about it, even if others seem to think I was making crocodile noises). However, unless the crocodile is eating or has already eaten your hands or legs, I would suggest hitting or kicking the crocodile in the eye as a more hygienic (and much less yucky) solution, if at all possible.
In other animal news, African buffalo are freaking incredible. I saw with my own eyes (via YouTube) a herd of buffalo team up against an unholy alliance of lions and crocodiles to save one of their young. Lions and Crocodiles!!!! Working together!!! The Apocalypse is coming people! The African buffalo won't always be around to save us.
Take care of each other friends.
posted by Andy at 6:35 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home