My sweet Latin Valentine
Wow, Andy McDonie, writing about Valentine's Day!
You must be wondering what the catch is.
No catch, I just want to write about something I love very very much.
I'll leave you in suspense for a while as I go on to describe my significant other.
She's Latin American.
I see her every day.
She's always there, but not in a needy kind of way.
She's extremely rich.
Her family, though mainly Colombian, has relatives all over the world.
They own houses in all major cities from Paris to London to New York, Chicago, Seattle, Tokyo, Istanbul, Tel Aviv, everywhere.
I don't know what I'd do without her.
She's sweet, beautiful, and her only real fault is she is sometimes known to be a bit bitter (right up my alley).
Any guesses who she is?
Alright, I'll tell you.
She's coffee.
Sweet, beautiful, rich, dark, strong, savory, get-me-out-of-bed-in-the-morning coffee.
Ah how I love it.
5:15 PM here, and I've already rendez-vous'ed with her 4 times today, and I hardly think that I've seen the last of her this Valentine's Day.
No no, she's too good to me for me to ignore her like that.
Some people call this an addiction. I say it's love.
These people ask me if I get headaches if I go a morning without drinking my coffee.
Do you, dear readers, want to know the answer to that?
The truth is, I don't know. I have nothing to base it on.
I can't remember the last morning I didn't have a cup of coffee.
I don't know why I would try that...especially if it turns out that it might give me a headache.
These people don't make much sense to me. They could probably use a cup of coffee to help them think straight.
How do I take my coffee, you might be wondering.
The only answer I can give is "gladly, thank you."
I like all kinds of coffee.
Dark, light, black, cream, no cream, sugar, no sugar, really hot, medium, cold, ice, Starbucks, Seattle's Best, Folgers, Maxwell House, Italian, French, American, Israeli, Turkish, Irish, Mexican. Coffee ice cream, coffee candy, coffee cake, coffee breaks, coffee tables, coffee scent, coffee colors. There is absolutely no way that I don't like coffee*.
What's more, coffee likes me too.
Not only does coffee have caffeine, which raises your adrenaline - a survival chemical, it also has positive effects.
Caffeine is a study drug, a sort of memory enhancer. People who study while on caffeine are more likely to remember what they studied/read when they need to recall that information than those poor saps who didn't study while on caffeine.
Furthermore, recent studies have shown that coffee may actually have long term positive effects.
Sid Kirchheimer, a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, human being published on Web MD** the results of his wonderful, beautiful research.
Coffee can:
Cut men's risk for Type 2 diabetes in half - 54% on the condition that they drink 6 or more cups a day - heaven.
Cut risk of Parkinsons disease by 80%
Reduce the risk of colon cancer by up to 25%
Reduce the risk of liver cirrhosis by 80% - great news for my Irish brethern (and my Italian friends)
Cut risk of gall stones in half.
Manage asthma
Boost the mood
Stop a headache
Prevent cavities
And just make you feel so good.
How are there still non-coffee drinkers left in the world? These figures must show why so many people are grumpy, asthmatic, and cavity-ridden.
I have an interesting history with Lady Coffee as well. It started when I was about five, when I had my first sip. It was from my grandmother. I think she was trying to deter me from using it, because she gave me decaf***. I found my mistress rather bitter, and I didn't think I'd ever go back to her. 5 years later she showed up again in my life. I was at a sleepover with some friends, and we all began experimenting with Folgers. I liked it. I liked it a lot. Life was never the same again after that. My parents themselves don't drink coffee, but they do keep it around for guests. They caught me from time to time sneaking it. They weren't very happy that their 10-year-old son was drinking coffee, so they did succeed in slowing down my love affair, but true love has never submitted to parents' regulations (see Shakespeare), and their rules only made me love coffee more.
I had my first cappucino at age 12. My parents had taken us to the Eastland Mall in Columbus for Christmas shopping, and in a predictable parent way, they left me alone to consult with Santa. I didn't plan on meeting cappucino that day. I was just looking for Christmas gifts, when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but Gloria Jean's Gourmet Coffee. My road from boyhood to manhood unfolded before me that day.
High school found me fooling around with several coffee concoctions, mainly Tim Horton's French vanilla cappucino. I still hold my Friday morning breakfasts at Tims as some of my most cherished memories. My senior year I drove up to Chillicothe with some friends. We found a coffee shop. I discovered espresso - another boost on the road to manhood. I thought it was the grossest thing I'd ever put in my mouth. I didn't understand how such wonderful sweet coffee, in it's most powerful form, could cause me so much pain. I thought I'd never go back.
College is where my like for coffee turned to full-blown love. Head-over-heels, poetry kind of love. My freshman year as a chem major afforded me the pleasure of several late nights with my Folgers singles. My first all-nighter was finals week of fall quarter my sophomore year. I realized after I had finished studying the last two chapters of organic chemistry around midnight, that my 8:00 AM test was not over the last two chapters exclusively. It was instead comprehensive. It was Folgers that stayed up with me that night.
That summer I went to Macedonia for the first time. I discovered Turkish coffee there. No one had ever warned me about the grinds in the bottom of this cup of thick, black deliciousness. I drank them, almost choked, and I don't believe I slept that night. It was another year before I could convince myself to give her another whirl. However, while refusing to drink this kind of coffee in Macedonia, I stumbled across macchiato. Romans 8:28 in action for you there. Beautiful is the only word I can use to properly describe that summer.
Junior year found me, not as a Chem major (obviously, that final didn't go too well - this however is not the fault of the coffee. It's never the fault of the coffee.) but as a religion major, living with Chris Davis, a good man who also loves him a good cup of coffee. We bought a bean grinder that year. Actually, to be more precise, he bought it. I hope that Dana enjoys his fresh ground coffee, now in his days as a husband. That summer I returned to Macedonia, and I drank that coffee, and I liked it! I also refell in love with macchiato - better than Starbucks.
Senior year I lived with non-coffee drinkers (refer to comment about cranky, asthmatic, cavity-ridden people). Dave introduced me to green tea, which I flirted with for a while, and still do occasionally. Coffee is a very understanding friend. I went to Chicago over spring break and found my beloved Turkish coffee under the pseudonym Israeli coffee in a Jewish district of the city. I was able to share my love of this deliciousness with some of my WSU friends. What a great day! Winter and spring quarters each held 20 credit hours and gallons upon gallons of Waffle House, Starbucks, Steak N Shake, Folgers, and my friend Lenny's Coffee. That summer, I worked in an office. The free, however cheap coffee was good to me. Not only did she fill my boring hours with sweet happiness, her diurhetic caffeine had me going to the bathroom every 30 minutes - a welcome break from the boredom of filing.
Today, I sit in France, the place where coffee came as an unrefined little girl and grew into a beautiful, sophisticated, seductive woman. The French choice - espresso. It didn't take long to learn to love her. Strong, dark, comes in a ridiculously small mug, always served with chocolate. Wonderful.
Happy Valentine's Day to you, Folgers, 5th grade friends, Santa Clause,and Tim Hortons. Happy Valentine's Day high school friends, o-chem professor, Chris, and Chicago. Happy Valentine's Day Lenny, Modern Jewish Thought, Canadian Indian Religions Macedonia, and France. Happy Valentine's Day to you, Lady Coffee, in all your beautiful manifestations. And most of all, Happy Valentine's Day God, and thank You, Giver of all good and perfect gifts at Whose right hand are pleasures forevermore. May coffee only be a foretaste of eternal joy in You.
*When I say that there is no way I don't like coffee, I am assuming non-gross conditions. For example if someone were to brew it in their toilet, using dirty underwear as a filter, and stirring it with their toes, I would probably be disinclined to like this coffee. Under normal circumstances I like all coffee. I have however heard of a coffee bean in Asia that passes through the digestive system of a skunk-like creature, harvested from its feces and then processed into very fine coffee. I'm willing to give that a whirl, but I hear that it's quite expensive.
**httm://my.webmd.com/content/article/80/96454.htm
***Decaf coffee is not really coffee.
You must be wondering what the catch is.
No catch, I just want to write about something I love very very much.
I'll leave you in suspense for a while as I go on to describe my significant other.
She's Latin American.
I see her every day.
She's always there, but not in a needy kind of way.
She's extremely rich.
Her family, though mainly Colombian, has relatives all over the world.
They own houses in all major cities from Paris to London to New York, Chicago, Seattle, Tokyo, Istanbul, Tel Aviv, everywhere.
I don't know what I'd do without her.
She's sweet, beautiful, and her only real fault is she is sometimes known to be a bit bitter (right up my alley).
Any guesses who she is?
Alright, I'll tell you.
She's coffee.
Sweet, beautiful, rich, dark, strong, savory, get-me-out-of-bed-in-the-morning coffee.
Ah how I love it.
5:15 PM here, and I've already rendez-vous'ed with her 4 times today, and I hardly think that I've seen the last of her this Valentine's Day.
No no, she's too good to me for me to ignore her like that.
Some people call this an addiction. I say it's love.
These people ask me if I get headaches if I go a morning without drinking my coffee.
Do you, dear readers, want to know the answer to that?
The truth is, I don't know. I have nothing to base it on.
I can't remember the last morning I didn't have a cup of coffee.
I don't know why I would try that...especially if it turns out that it might give me a headache.
These people don't make much sense to me. They could probably use a cup of coffee to help them think straight.
How do I take my coffee, you might be wondering.
The only answer I can give is "gladly, thank you."
I like all kinds of coffee.
Dark, light, black, cream, no cream, sugar, no sugar, really hot, medium, cold, ice, Starbucks, Seattle's Best, Folgers, Maxwell House, Italian, French, American, Israeli, Turkish, Irish, Mexican. Coffee ice cream, coffee candy, coffee cake, coffee breaks, coffee tables, coffee scent, coffee colors. There is absolutely no way that I don't like coffee*.
What's more, coffee likes me too.
Not only does coffee have caffeine, which raises your adrenaline - a survival chemical, it also has positive effects.
Caffeine is a study drug, a sort of memory enhancer. People who study while on caffeine are more likely to remember what they studied/read when they need to recall that information than those poor saps who didn't study while on caffeine.
Furthermore, recent studies have shown that coffee may actually have long term positive effects.
Sid Kirchheimer, a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, human being published on Web MD** the results of his wonderful, beautiful research.
Coffee can:
Cut men's risk for Type 2 diabetes in half - 54% on the condition that they drink 6 or more cups a day - heaven.
Cut risk of Parkinsons disease by 80%
Reduce the risk of colon cancer by up to 25%
Reduce the risk of liver cirrhosis by 80% - great news for my Irish brethern (and my Italian friends)
Cut risk of gall stones in half.
Manage asthma
Boost the mood
Stop a headache
Prevent cavities
And just make you feel so good.
How are there still non-coffee drinkers left in the world? These figures must show why so many people are grumpy, asthmatic, and cavity-ridden.
I have an interesting history with Lady Coffee as well. It started when I was about five, when I had my first sip. It was from my grandmother. I think she was trying to deter me from using it, because she gave me decaf***. I found my mistress rather bitter, and I didn't think I'd ever go back to her. 5 years later she showed up again in my life. I was at a sleepover with some friends, and we all began experimenting with Folgers. I liked it. I liked it a lot. Life was never the same again after that. My parents themselves don't drink coffee, but they do keep it around for guests. They caught me from time to time sneaking it. They weren't very happy that their 10-year-old son was drinking coffee, so they did succeed in slowing down my love affair, but true love has never submitted to parents' regulations (see Shakespeare), and their rules only made me love coffee more.
I had my first cappucino at age 12. My parents had taken us to the Eastland Mall in Columbus for Christmas shopping, and in a predictable parent way, they left me alone to consult with Santa. I didn't plan on meeting cappucino that day. I was just looking for Christmas gifts, when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but Gloria Jean's Gourmet Coffee. My road from boyhood to manhood unfolded before me that day.
High school found me fooling around with several coffee concoctions, mainly Tim Horton's French vanilla cappucino. I still hold my Friday morning breakfasts at Tims as some of my most cherished memories. My senior year I drove up to Chillicothe with some friends. We found a coffee shop. I discovered espresso - another boost on the road to manhood. I thought it was the grossest thing I'd ever put in my mouth. I didn't understand how such wonderful sweet coffee, in it's most powerful form, could cause me so much pain. I thought I'd never go back.
College is where my like for coffee turned to full-blown love. Head-over-heels, poetry kind of love. My freshman year as a chem major afforded me the pleasure of several late nights with my Folgers singles. My first all-nighter was finals week of fall quarter my sophomore year. I realized after I had finished studying the last two chapters of organic chemistry around midnight, that my 8:00 AM test was not over the last two chapters exclusively. It was instead comprehensive. It was Folgers that stayed up with me that night.
That summer I went to Macedonia for the first time. I discovered Turkish coffee there. No one had ever warned me about the grinds in the bottom of this cup of thick, black deliciousness. I drank them, almost choked, and I don't believe I slept that night. It was another year before I could convince myself to give her another whirl. However, while refusing to drink this kind of coffee in Macedonia, I stumbled across macchiato. Romans 8:28 in action for you there. Beautiful is the only word I can use to properly describe that summer.
Junior year found me, not as a Chem major (obviously, that final didn't go too well - this however is not the fault of the coffee. It's never the fault of the coffee.) but as a religion major, living with Chris Davis, a good man who also loves him a good cup of coffee. We bought a bean grinder that year. Actually, to be more precise, he bought it. I hope that Dana enjoys his fresh ground coffee, now in his days as a husband. That summer I returned to Macedonia, and I drank that coffee, and I liked it! I also refell in love with macchiato - better than Starbucks.
Senior year I lived with non-coffee drinkers (refer to comment about cranky, asthmatic, cavity-ridden people). Dave introduced me to green tea, which I flirted with for a while, and still do occasionally. Coffee is a very understanding friend. I went to Chicago over spring break and found my beloved Turkish coffee under the pseudonym Israeli coffee in a Jewish district of the city. I was able to share my love of this deliciousness with some of my WSU friends. What a great day! Winter and spring quarters each held 20 credit hours and gallons upon gallons of Waffle House, Starbucks, Steak N Shake, Folgers, and my friend Lenny's Coffee. That summer, I worked in an office. The free, however cheap coffee was good to me. Not only did she fill my boring hours with sweet happiness, her diurhetic caffeine had me going to the bathroom every 30 minutes - a welcome break from the boredom of filing.
Today, I sit in France, the place where coffee came as an unrefined little girl and grew into a beautiful, sophisticated, seductive woman. The French choice - espresso. It didn't take long to learn to love her. Strong, dark, comes in a ridiculously small mug, always served with chocolate. Wonderful.
Happy Valentine's Day to you, Folgers, 5th grade friends, Santa Clause,and Tim Hortons. Happy Valentine's Day high school friends, o-chem professor, Chris, and Chicago. Happy Valentine's Day Lenny, Modern Jewish Thought, Canadian Indian Religions Macedonia, and France. Happy Valentine's Day to you, Lady Coffee, in all your beautiful manifestations. And most of all, Happy Valentine's Day God, and thank You, Giver of all good and perfect gifts at Whose right hand are pleasures forevermore. May coffee only be a foretaste of eternal joy in You.
*When I say that there is no way I don't like coffee, I am assuming non-gross conditions. For example if someone were to brew it in their toilet, using dirty underwear as a filter, and stirring it with their toes, I would probably be disinclined to like this coffee. Under normal circumstances I like all coffee. I have however heard of a coffee bean in Asia that passes through the digestive system of a skunk-like creature, harvested from its feces and then processed into very fine coffee. I'm willing to give that a whirl, but I hear that it's quite expensive.
**httm://my.webmd.com/content/article/80/96454.htm
***Decaf coffee is not really coffee.
posted by Andy at 11:07 AM
7 Comments:
Coffee also gives people anxiety.
Andy, you're my hero!
That would definitely not be a controlled experiment. If I were to get a headache, that could be because decaf coffee tastes like crap.
Also, the webmd site gives health benefits of anxiety-causing caffeine. Let's be optimists and not call it an anxiety causer, but a reality booster. That's how the French would see it anyway.
Andy, I forgot to pucker-up to your love today. I went all valentines day without even casual interaction with her (though I could smell her sweet perfume in my fridge).
Andy, I think we're going to have a talk about your "love" for coffee when you get back. As for WebMD, let's just say that my nursing student roommate thinks there are a few "issues" with their "testing".
Too much coffee gives me a hangover and sometimes diarrhea.
CNN online put out a study today (Feb 16) on coffee reducing the rates of liver cancer.
It just keeps getting better.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/HEALTH/conditions/02/15/coffee.cancer.ap/index.html
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